


gone

by starforged



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Gen, Healing, Season 3 Finale, Season 3 Spoilers, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Vague Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 11:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16367183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starforged/pseuds/starforged
Summary: Daisy is gone. They knew they could die, but Daisy was still gone.





	gone

Daisy was gone. 

They had gone to that theatre, the four of them, knowing that _gone_ was a likely outcome. That was the downside, wasn’t it, to being held by a power that was beyond their mortality. It was the _knowing_ that had made her feel settled at the Institute, and it was the _knowing_ that helped her realize that she couldn’t let Daisy go along with just Jon and Tim. Tim was a lit stick of dynamite. 

And Jon was - Jon was not the same frazzled, overly stressed man Basira had met in the beginning. 

Basira had to go, because Daisy was her partner. Because Daisy would have likely killed everyone.

Daisy was gone. 

Tim was gone. 

Jon was gone, in a way. 

She sat at her kitchen table, holding a cup of tea between her hands. The warmth grounded her as much as the soft blue glow of the nightlight on her counter did. She didn’t drink it. It was just nice to hold it in her hands, as if something about it could remind her that she wasn’t alone.

And she wasn’t. Each time that creeping, sinking feeling began to spiral through her bones, the knowledge that she _wasn’t alone_ edged it back out again. She needed to go back to work. She needed to be with the people who understood and knew. Mandatory break, the new director said. 

But Daisy was gone, yes. That was the loneliness that kept battering at her doors. They had been partners and friends, and Basira had cared about Daisy in a way she hadn’t quite wanted to know until after. It was a ridiculous sort of guilt that wrapped around her. 

She dug her phone out of her pocket and clicked on the last person she had called. “What are you doing right now?”

* * *

Melanie looked a mess. Her hair was pulled back and put in a bun, but Basira could tell she hadn’t brushed it in days. She wore a crooked smile as she leaned back in her chair. “You look tired.”

“You look pissed.”

The crooked smile grew wider. “Well, Martin did fuck me over, but… What can you do, right? It’s not like I can break into a cell to murder him.”

There was a wildness in her eyes, so familiar and like Daisy’s and so wrong all at once. Daisy had wanted to hunt, to take down things that were wrong and dangerous. Elias Bouchard was - well, wrong. And dangerous, but not exactly the same kind as vampires or dolls wearing human skin. He was an asshole, a real piece of shit that deserved every charge that came down on him. 

But Basira believed him. Their lives were his life.

Melanie’s looks was frenzy. 

She leaned in closer to Basira. “Unless you still have connections?”

“I am not sticking my neck out so you can kill us all.” She sipped her tea. Much better than the cup she had left to chill on her kitchen table. 

“Daisy would have.”

“Daisy is gone.”

Gone, gone, gone. 

That helped to bring Melanie back to herself, as if she remembered what had brought them here to begin with. As if she remembered why it was that Elias was finally taken out of the Magnus Institute and why they were down an Archivist and a few assistants. 

She swallowed hard.

The tea burned her throat, but she didn’t care. 

“They didn’t find her body,” Melanie finally said, her voice soft and repentant. Like she was sorry that she had brought up her weird obsession with Elias’s death at her hands. 

Basira knew that she wasn’t. 

“They found Jon and Tim, but they didn’t find Daisy.”

It was meant to be comforting. This was what Basira thought she wanted, someone to tell her that Daisy was somewhere. Daisy wasn’t completely gone, that she wasn’t _dead_ dead. But in their world, did that really matter? Gone could mean so many things, and all roads led back to serving their fucked up gods and their fucked up fears. Her brows furrowed. She stared hard into her tea, the liquid dark and unmoving. She gripped the cup. 

“I know.” The words were strangled as she finally forced herself to say it.

To acknowledge that Daisy was gone but possibly not dead? It would give her a hope she didn’t deserve to hold onto. It would move her beyond knowing, into speculation. As a cop, that was how her life had been led. Until Section 31. Until Daisy and Jonathan Sim and the Magnus Institute. 

Melanie’s hand was cool on top of her skin as her fingers wrapped around Basira’s. She finally dragged her gaze back up, and the wildness had dissipated to the point where she looked like the old Melanie. She felt her shoulders relax, as if this was another worry to add to the pile that she kept at bay. 

“She wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up for living,” Melanie told her. “I didn’t know Daisy well. I mean, I did my best to kind of stay out of her way.” She gave a choked laugh. Basira smiled, or her mouth did something similar to that pull and twist of lips. “But I do know she wouldn’t have wanted you to - to not be _here_ , Basira.”

Basira held on to Melanie’s hand, squeezing gently. “We’re not alone.”

“‘Course not. Well, except for maybe Martin right now.”

Daisy was gone, and it had carved a hole so deep into her chest, that she knew it wouldn’t fill up again. And she knew, without a doubt, that there was something that pleased the Beholding about that sort of truth. As if it could feed off her knowledge that she could not change what was gone and watched her put together the pieces over and over again.


End file.
